How I Feel
by Aliens Exist 182
Summary: A collection of letters from various characters admitting how they feel about life and eachother. Sound cheesy? Get the chedder out of your ears. Bad pun, I know.
1. Best wishes, Cole Matthews

**My language arts class recently finished the novel Touching Spirit Bear, and as we were reading it, we had to write a letter from Cole to Peter about Cole 'showing his true feelings and thoughts' after Cole suggests that Peter comes to the island. I got a good score on mine, so I thought I'd write it down and put it on this site. So, I hope you enjoy the letter.**

Dear Peter,

I know you probably don't care, but I'm sorry for beating you up. I've been angry and violent half my life. It was all I knew.

Maybe I should explain. Start at the beginning of this mess, or before the beginning, or whenever you want to call it. You see, when my dad was a kid, his parents were abusive. Maybe they were drunks, or maybe they were just mean. Either way, they would beat my dad, and implant this false idea that abuse was the only way to get your kid to cooperate. My mother told me he never wanted to hit me, that he didn't want to be like his parents. Eventually, though, everything kind of got to him, I guess, and he started drinking and hitting me. He taught me that violence was the answer to everything.  
>Like father like son, eh? Except I'm not going to be like my father. At least, not anymore. I'm going to change, and for the better. I've been sent to an island off the coast of Alaska to learn how to heal. I'm making progress, and I feel way better than when I was angry at the world. Maybe the island would help you heal, too. You could come here, and I would show you a few little tricks I use to relax and clear my mind. I really think it would help Would you think about it? Please? I really want to help you, Peter, I swear.<p>

Best wishes,

Cole Matthews

…**This looks way longer on paper -.- **

**FAIL LETTER IS A FAIL.**

**If you have anything to say about it, or have any tips to improve it, feel free to tell me.  
>…Guess that's it. See you later. <strong>

**Maybe.**


	2. You know that, right?

**I'm back! This one is from Cindy Matthews to Cole. Yeah, it's amazing.**

**This was supposed to be a one-shot thing, but I forgot a disclaimer D: So I was all, "O NOEZ," and thought it would be stupid to just make a new chapter with the disclaimer only, so I wrote this. I then remembered that I could've just edited the chapter, but decided, "Eh, what the heck. I started this thing, and gosh darnit, I'm gonna finish this thing!" So, I finished it, and now, a clever disclaimer by yours truly.**

**MC Hammer: Stop! Disclaimer time! She doesn't own TSB. Or me.**

**Me: Thank you, Mr. Hammer. Now let's get this show on the road!**

Dear Cole,

Yes, it's your mother again. I know it doesn't make sense that I keep writing you these letters, because I know you won't be able to get them, but it feels nice, writing these. It's like, I don't know, writing a letter to you at summer camp. You've never been to one (at least, not that I remember; I'm a terrible mother), but it gives me a sense of normality, I guess, pretending you're at one.

How would I know what normal is, anyway? My definition of normal comes from those stupid, fake, overly dramatic soap operas I used to watch, before the accident. I don't watch them anymore. They gave me false standards that I used to aim for, and when I missed them, I would feel horrible, like I wasn't treating you like you should be treated, and I would drink and try to ignore everything; what your father was doing to you, for instance. You will never know how guilty I feel about that. I just sat there and watched while your father beat you, never doing a thing about it. Sure, I tried to get your father to stop once or twice, but when he threatened to hurt me, I chickened out. I hate admitting it, but I felt it was better he hit you than me. I put my life before yours. I deserve the Nobel Prize for Bad Parenting. Maybe one day I'll show you this letter, show you all the letters I've written to you, so you can read what I've been trying to say, what I've wanted to say for years.

It's lonely here, without you. I wish I could say I'm never alone, that you're always in my heart and I'll never let you go, but the times before your father hit you, before I became a drunken idiot, are long gone. The older you got, the farther I drifted from you, because I thought it would hurt less. Putting me before you was one of the stupidest, no, _the_ stupidest thing I've ever done. But when you come home, I'm determined to change everything, and become a family again. I love you, Cole. You know that, right?

Love,

Mom

**Yep. That was my beautiful letter. I threw in some pop culture references (like, two), and they may be sort of hard to see, but they pop out to me, probably because I put them there, so I know where they are. If you can see them, kudos to you. If you can't, you can just ask me. Or not, if you don't care.  
>Well, see you.<br>-Aliens Exist 182**


End file.
